Learning To Lean Was Not A Goal

3 Mar

Here Me Roar

The idea of learning to lean on another person does not seem to be a goal worth achieving. As a believer, and a woman I have been taught that it is important to be strong, sufficient, and capable. From an early age I learned the benefit of depending on myself and not others then life circumstances built on this foundation of self-sufficiency. My belief system said “the more able you are to take care of things, to keep it all in control, the more mature you are”. As a small child I learned that to convey need was a sign of weakness. I learned to suck it up and move on and to pick myself up and move forward.  “I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR” was my motto! I was an overcomer by MY OWN WILL. 


My Life Had Been Built On A Faulty Foundation

You can imagine how unnerving it was to seek God in His word and discover that my whole life had been built on a faulty foundation; that in reality God’s ways are completely opposite. The more we learn to lean on Him, trust Him, rely and depend on His ways and wisdom the more mature we are!

This truth is displayed clearly in the book the Song of Solomon. Over 15 years ago I set my heart to understand who Jesus was as my Bridegroom or Husband. I began to discover the riches of the word in passages such as:

Hosea 2: I will allure you to the wilderness; You will sing as in the days of your youth; You will no longer call me Master, you will call me Husband; I will exchange your valley of trouble for a door of hope, etc.

Revelation 19: there is a marriage supper of the Lamb coming and the BRIDE has made herself ready. She is clothed in fine linen. Who is the Bride I wondered.

I learned that Jesus is returning for a Bride, pure and spotless and that God in his kindness draws us to the wilderness by speaking kindly to us, and in the wilderness He transforms our understanding of who He is from Baali (Master) to Ishi (Husband). God began to awaken my heart to seek the understanding of who I was as the beloved of Christ. I desperately needed to know this love.

Over the next 4 years the Word of God would transform my life. I would discover that there really was power in the Word and His Word brings life. My wounded heart, and lie-filled mind were slowly transformed into a new identity.

Holy Disruption…An Internal Earthquake

One thing that really impacted me was at the END of the Song of Solomon; as the Schulamite who represents us as believers had gone through the journey of discovering the power of love she came out of the wilderness LEANING on her beloved. My paradigm of a beautiful, powerful woman of God was amiss; according to the Word, trials and difficulty equip us to lean on Him and not our own strength. Trauma develops faith and trust if we allow it. Unfortunately, many who have experienced trauma, disappointment, pain and suffering have learned like me to depend upon themselves.alone

God’s Vision For A Mature Believer…

God’s goal in maturing us is to help us develop a level of trust that we will continually choose to trust in Him and lean not on our own understanding. As a single mother I spent countless hours and energy on figuring things out, leaning on my own understanding and strength while all the while the Creator God desired to teach me to lean.

Learning To Lean

So what how do we develop the strength to lean? As we look into the word of God there are biblical steps that lead us up to the maturity of leaning:

  1. Desire: we have to want a deeper place of knowing Him as the All-Sufficient One.
    1. Draw Me After You and let us run together…we want to run without being drawn.
  2. Acknowledge our beauty and darkness: “I am dark but lovely”. Your Maker has made you beautiful; so often we are so overcome with our darkness that we cannot even think it possible that there is beauty. This is a challenge for many women but necessary if we are to move through the journey of discovery.
  3. Commit to the process: We live in a quick fix society. However, for a lifetime we have been taught and developed the muscle of “I AM ENOUGH, I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF”. We must commit to the process of learning to lean. It’s like learning to use a muscle that we have never exercised…a leaning muscle.
  4. Ask Holy Spirit for HELP. We want to figure it out and work it out on our own. But God has given us One called The Helper…ASK and it will be given unto you, seek and you will find. He is waiting for us to ASK.

I am committed to seeing a multitude of women arise out of the ashes into the beauty of maturity. Let’s learn to lean together.

Are you in the midst of a situation where you are troubled because you can’t figure out how to move past it? Is God calling

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