Making Memories Creates Connectedness

5 Jan

shutterstock_190648157When we create good memories with our children we become connected. This was so evident in my life as a new single mother. My oldest daughter (13 years old) became angry, apathetic, and withdrawn when her dad left. I tried everything to reach her,: my own angry responses, kindness, threats, my own form of withdraw but nothing seemed to reach her.

DSCN2723I decided early on in the process of my divorce that I would be committed to taking time away with my children. I needed it for my own well-being. Our lives were so intense and we needed a break, even if it was only for a long weekend. It was during one such long weekend that I had an AH-HA moment with my daughter. We were in a cabin (during off season…it’s cheaper) and she came and sat on my lap. I realized she was still the same little girl; in that moment God opened up my eyes to see the impact and importance of time away. She was tender again, she longed for love and affirmation no matter what her walls said and it took pulling her away from friends and the familiar for her to open up and connect with me and her siblings.


 

Making memories was monumental in our journey as a family.
We connected and became bonded during those times away together.


Israel Pictures 381Although getting away on a trip together is a great way to build memories as a family, the reality is many single mothers can’t do this. However, we serve a creative God who wants us to make memories, memorials with our children. All throughout the word of God, He directs the fathers to ‘tell your children’ about the miracles of old, REMEMBER He says. I believe He wants us to create those impacting, important, fun times with our families.

As you look into 2016, there are some wonderful ways you can begin now to build memories and stay connected to your family and them to you.

PRAY

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6

God wants us to be connected with our children more than we do. He is CREATIVE, He is the GOD WITH A PLAN, He has ALL RESOURCES.  Let Him know the desires of your heart when it comes to making memories with your children and ask for His help. 

PLAN AHEAD

Put it in your calendar now
Plan a weekend a quarter or a night a month…just set aside the time NOWDSCN5721

WRITE DOWN A LIST OF IDEAS

If you don’t have some ideas down on paper it will never happen. Include seasonal ideas such as a trip to an apple orchard for the fall etc.

PREPARE YOUR FAMILY

Depending on the ages you might get some complaints, especially if you have not intentionally connected with your kids in the past.
Sit everyone down together (Family Meetings are GREAT). Be INTENTIONAL with them.

DO IT

Don’t let anything get in the way of follow through. Our kids must know our word is true. Many have been hurt time and time again by unkept promises. It is better to start small with something doable than to promise a trip to the beach when you have never left the city.

FOLLOW UP

This is JUST as important as the planning and preparing. We want our children to learn how to think, to engage in the world around them. Ask two simple questions:

  1. What did you love.
  2. What did you learn.
    (from John Maxwell Intentional Living: Day 16 Create a Memory and Visit it Often)

Don't Stop to Ride The Camel...it will cost alot of money. Don’t Stop To Ride The Camel…
It will cost big bucks!

PRAY together

Thank God for what He gave you, for what you learned. Thank Him for being a Good Father.

 

I believe Single Mother Families can thrive

I believe that our children can have a solid hope for the future

I believe that we as mothers can do small things such as being intentional about connecting with our children that will increase their chance for successful marriages, careers, and family life.

Let us know how you create memories with your children?


Misty Speaking

Misty Honnold is the founder and director of The Single MOM KC. Her highest honor and favorite title has been MOM for the past 30 years. Her new favorite title is GRAMMY. Misty is passionate to bring the message of HOPE to single mothers throughout the nation. She also seeks to help educate the church on effective ministry to single mothers. Misty would love to help you build a single mother ministry in your church. To schedule a speaking engagement or consultation visit Misty at: Misty@thesinglemomkc.org.

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